Today's Focus: Wholeness 🌎
Last time I posted, I mentioned how over the past several years I have undergone major personal growth. Clichéd questions like “what is the meaning of life”and “who am I (really)” have plagued me. What is this (hellish) human journey about anyway? Though I've understood intellectually one part of this answer to be “Wholeness“, today it clicked. I gained an insight which allowed a deeper realization of this truth.
This realization dropped squarely into my being as knowing versus thinking I knew. As “spiritual beings having a human experience” (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin), we are arguably here to re-remember that we are in fact already whole. Some of you might be asking yourselves “wtf does that even mean?”
I feel. So let me do my best to share how I now interpret it… in the form of a story, of course. It all began when I was unwittingly and involuntarily catapulted onto something known as “the Twin Flame (TF) journey”.
The “Twin Flame” Journey – Path to Completion?
It started 18 months ago. I had a question for which I was seeking an answer. Not like something I could just look up on Google, obviously. One night, I had a dream, and in the dream a benevolent voice spoke a name to me. Reaching out to this person was implied. I woke up with the name on my lips. I reached out to this person, and a back and forth conversation ensued.
It started out all fun and games, got deep fast, and in the blink of an eye I was ensnared. A strong attachment developed which morphed into what I had heretofore referred to as an “ailment”.
Symptoms of Being Triggered Onto the Journey
Intense wanting, bouts of ecstasy, deep depression, peaks of inner peace, giving up on life, questioning my sanity, trying to break free only to be sucked back in yet again. I found out about the concept of twin flames (again) when I started looking for answers online. After experiencing strange physical sensations – e.g. medically unexplained heart palpitations and intermittent episodes of “chicken skin” at an intense rate for weeks at a time – and emotional – e.g. intense, unending, unconditional, all encompassing love – my mind, resisting (i.e. kicking and screaming) every step of the way, needed some rational, logical answers. Good luck there. eep.
I found out the “journey” had begun in full effect, and with it the words “rational” and “logical” out the window. This is obviously an inner and individual process, though there are markers and shared experiences along the way. Despite the psychological and spiritual implications, in the vein of keeping a firm grip on reality I (try to) employ skepticism (i.e. denial) as a tool to keep myself “sane”.
Dragged Kicking and Screaming
First, I denied the validity of the concept of Twin Flames. Then I denied wanting to have anything to do with the concept, even if it did exist. The thought of being cut from the same soul cloth as another had me hyperventilating with claustrophobia. Anyone who knows me knows I require extreme privacy, a ton of space and lots of time alone.
“I do not even want a TF!” I bellowed obstinately to the astrologer who told me the person inquired about was not my TF, but was indeed a soul mate. Satisfied with the confirmation of him being a soul mate, I wondered who the hell would even want a TF? I thought to myself. How boring! And soul mate would explain the telepathic and spiritual bond I felt.
Anyhoo – “I embody wholeness within myself”, I told her, only half convinced and mind already spinning with doubt.
Signs & Symbols Along the Path
As the Universe does, the law of attraction started going into overdrive in my world, showing me signs and symbols repeatedly to the point where I finally sat up and took note. I'll keep those to myself, but if you've gotten launched on this journey, you know what I am talking about.
Fine, I admitted. OK, so there are similarities in my experience with many, many others around the planet. That means a.) it is a shared phenomena and b.) it has some basis in the “real world” (a.k.a. “3D” in TF lingo).
In a way, finding this out has been a relief. No, I am not just making it all up in my head. Denial is still active, however. Though I am not a doctor, I think a little denial and skepticism is healthy on this journey, by the way.
I have felt so miserable at times because while I have been so deeply touched by this experience, I have not yet been unable to reach out and touch it with my hands. No physical (i.e. “3D”) outlet for expression – all 5D. Believe me, I have sought alternatives and distractions. Yoga definitely helps.
There is a growing body of content on the topic of twin flames. Just like any other topic, some is awesome, much is hogwash. It is a personal experience, and guess what, you help define it. Today I gained this insight – bringing me back to my Lester Levenson release technique training. I am co-creator in this. I am NOT powerless, I am not a victim. It is possible to take the leap from wanting to having on the inner.
“Seek Ye First the Kingdom Within…” — Matt 6:33
…Is like the most irritating and annoying thing to hear when you are in the throes of wanting. However, today I got my breakthrough. It is the solution to every problem.
As this reverberated through my being, I re-remembered that Yes, “I Am Whole, Complete & Perfect” unto myself… yet this is not to the exclusion of others. It is the INCLUSION of all others, of all that is. The anti-dote to wanting is Oneness. Oneness is Wholeness. And Wholeness is having it all.
As the realization dawned on me, an inner voice said “This is the base of power from which you can co-create”.
I am not spiritually un-evolved. I mean, like, I already knew that. But as is bound to happen, the wisdom had gone back up into my head and become an intellectual concept rather than a spiritual practice without my noticing. Until today, when I came across a blog post title “How To Get Into UNION”. For me, the author's words triggered another layer of awakening in me, and the following affirmation / intention emerged:
AFFIRMATION: “I allow myself to release the illusion of separation and embody wholeness body, mind, soul and spirit.”
If you are on this journey needing something solid under your feet then don't just read it. OWN it. I do. And so it is!